Torn Between Two Lovers
by CatWomen88
Summary: This is a story for Jemma and Semma fans....Jay and Sean fight over Emma. She is torn between the love of her life and a new firey, passionate Lover....who will she choose in the end......A man she has loved all her life or her complete polar opposite....
1. It all Begins

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degrassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter One: it all begins

Emma hated Smithdale…it was harder then she though. At least in high school she had it all figured out. She was Emma. Environmentalist who cleaned up the ravine…sure she was known for other things, but she choose to ignore that. However right now her life was falling apart. School was hard and things with Manny were strained. Emma felt she was losing her best friend. Manny had gotten back together with Jay…and then shit hit the fan. Emma felt partly to blame. She had pushed Manny to give him another chance and he blew it. Typical Jay. Then there was Sean. He kept emailing and calling saying he loved her and he wanted Emma to wait for him. However, it was hard. Very hard. He was over seas and who knew if he would come back alive. In college, here rep was as blonde-haired person either Emma or Pot Emma, better known as Blaze. Something she wanted to forget. Therefore, Emma packed up to go home for the weekend.

It figured the one weekend she would want to go home her family would be gone. Packed up and gone for the weekend. Therefore, Emma had the place to herself. The whole place and she loved it actually. Time to just is alone. Because of all the issues…the pot issue…. school being hard…. she was practically failing and with Kelly being kicked out…Emma was being bad…she was not eating.

Emma decided to go out. Not sure where, but out. She went to the Dot and barely ate. She talked to Spinner for a while before leaving. As she did, she caught sight of a familiar tall, brown haired man and she felt anger. She saw Jay stumbling around looking like he was drunk as a skunk. The reason Manny and Him broke up was because supposed he cheated on her. Emma clenched her fists and head over there. She tapped him on the shoulder and crossed her arms. "You bastard."

Jay was stumbling around. He was drunk off his ass and had no idea where he even was, let alone who was talking to him, "excuse. Me…but I seem to have lost my keys."

Emma just shook her head and stared, "You are pathetic…look at you. Drunk off your ass. Well my friends heart is broken thanks to you." Emma said loud and proud.

Jay stared, "Manny. I miss her…I didn't meant it…the girl she meant nothing I swear."

"Nothing…. does not matter. You still hurt Manny. What…. is it just because she was at Smithdale…and you were not getting it everyday…." Emma said with another shake of her head.

Jay swallowed air, "No…that's not it…nothing happened…. she was a friend…. we just hung out…made out that's it…. no sleeping." Jay stumbled and fell against Emma. He inhaled to vanilla scent Sean use to talk endlessly about…. jay had no idea that scent would haunt him.

Emma felt his weight on her, "Damn you…get off me." She tired to push his drunken ass off but it did not work…so she sighed and put his arm around her shoulders and helped him walk back to his place. Emma knew where he lived thanks to Sean and Manny. Emma was mad she had to help him now.

Emma helped him inside. She had to go through his pockets for his keys. Jay smiled, "Hey Green peace…watch those wondering hands…. sure you want me, but Sean…." Jay said as Emma pushed him against the wall.

Emma rolled her eyes, "So not flatter yourself." She helped him inside and to the couch. The place was a mess and part of her felt bad for him…. why she had no idea. Perhaps it was because things with Manny were on the rocks and other things were going to hell. Therefore, she decided to focus on someone else's problems for once. Therefore, Emma decided to clean up Jay's place. Perhaps this was her way of getting back at Manny for ignoring Emma…. but Emma was hungry and she did not want to eat. So cleaning helped her take her mind off her hunger.

Jay woke up hours later. He looked around at his clean place, "What the fuck?" He got up and looked around. It did not take him long to find Emma passed out in his bed…his fucking bed…."What the hell?" He asked angry for some reason. He just stared, "Why the hell you in my bed?"

Emma heard a loud voice and slowly woke up. She looked around and saw what he was talking about, "You were passed out on the couch, and it was too late for me to walk home. Calm down…. is that anyway to thank me for cleaning this trash you call an apartment."

Jay smirked, "This is my place. If I want it mess it will be messy." He knocked some magazines over and onto the floor. He just smiled, "There is the door. See ya. I do not need you. Or your voice in my head… so get out. I already have a damn fucking hangover."

Emma smiled and sat up, "Good. You deserve to be a miserable fuck for what you did to my friend. I stuck up for you and vouched for you and you cheat…. your a bastard." Emma headed for the door.

Jay smiled, "I am always a bastard. You should know that by now." He watched her go. "Good riddance. No one needs you or your Green peace ways." He looked at his place actually glad it was clean, but still hated her for thinking he needed anyone to clean his place.

Emma walked out of his place, It was 3 am…and dark outside, but she would not stick around to be yelled at.

Jay checked the time and rolled his eyes, "Shit." He grabbed his shoes and put them on and grabbed his keys and ran after her, "wait up Green peace…I will give you a fuckin ride…now shut up and take it…consider it a thank you for doing whatever it is you did." Jay told her as he easily caught up.

Emma looked at him and smiled, "Is that how you say thank you…. man you need help." However, Emma accepted the ride.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	2. The Triangle Begins

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter Two: The Triangle Begins

Jay tossed and turned most of the night. He was aware he had been rude to Green peace, but the very sight of her pissed him off. It just reminded him of what happened with him and Manny. Emma was Manny's best friend…. she had no right to butt into his life and come yell at him and clean his place. She was not his wife or his fucking girlfriend and she never would be. Yet Jay tossed and turned at the very thought of her.

Jay woke up later in the day and looked around. "Damn." It had not been some dream. Green peace had been there. She even left a mark. A jean jacket. "Shit." He thought. Now he would have to go see her. Just what he did not want to do. Jay dressed for work. He was working a double for Tony. Anything to take his mind off his problems. Moreover, for some reason work was good for a hangover.

He grabbed the jacket and it smelled like Vanilla. He could not get rid of that scent. It reeked in his apartment. Jay drove to Nelson's house and knocked. He waited for her to answer.

Emma rubbed her eyes when she heard the knock. She had stayed up late. She got up. She was wearing short gray shorts and a white tank top. She walked up the stairs and to the door. She heard the pounding become more eager, "Chill I am coming." Emma said as she opened the door, "What?"

Jay pounded some more. He did not want to be here any longer then he needed to. Without Sean and Manny hanging with Emma was pointless. However, she looked good. Jay immediately shook his head at the much thought. He could smell the vanilla again, "You left this." He flung it at her. "Oh and lay off the Vanilla. My place reeks of it."

Emma took the jacket and smiled while shaking her head, "You really need to learn two words. Thank you." She told him. "Still cranky…. seriously…. you need to be a little nicer. I could have left you on the side of the street. Its what you would have deserved."

Jay laughed, "Sure Green peace, but that would not have been very nice of you would it." He exaggerated the word nice. "By the way you look like shit…you okay?" he asked for some reason the answered worried him…whatever it would be.

Emma gave him a frosty, sarcastic smiled, "Oh I am fine…you know me…miss happy." Emma rolled her eyes, "Why do you care…thanks for the compliment, but you can go and thank you for bringing me my jacket." Emma said closing the door.

Jay rolled his eyes and grunted. Sean would kill him if he left Emma like that…. so he stopped the door and pushed it open walking inside. "Please you are not fine…I might not like you, but I know you…and Sean would kill me if I left you looking like that…." Jay said.

Emma just walked away from the door, "Well Sean is not here remember. No, he is being an idiot…he thinks he can just join the army and then all the sudden tell I am getting out…lets be together. It does not work like that." Emma said and sighed. "I mean I love Sean…but he has to understand that he is not making things easy for me."

For some reason the mention of Sean's name on her lips…. and the I love Sean comment pissed Jay off. He just watched her, "Well it's Sean. He never does things the easy way." Jay told her.

Emma looked at him, "Shouldn't you be off being some bad guy. Not bothering me."

Jay laughed, "Bothering you…that hurts Green peace. I thought we were just talking. I have work but it is a double shift. I really do not have to be in until later tonight." He smiled, "So how about you chill okay. I still have a hangover."

Emma smiled and made her voice louder, "Sorry. No can do."

Jay covered his ears, "Damn Green peace…come on. Fucking shit…. I am trying to be nice."

Emma eyed him; "I thought you don't do nice. You just do jerk, bastard, liar, cheater…." She started naming until Jay interrupted her.

"What the hell is your issue? I get it…okay. Manny is your best friend, but seriously…chill the fuck out." Jay was getting annoyed. Sean really needed to ditch Nelson's ass. _So I can have it_…. the thought quickly entered his mind and it shocked Jay. He looked at her and despite her looking like shit…. she looked damn god. Jay had to close his eyes and refocus. This was the hangover talking.

Emma looked at him and sighed, "Fine, but this does not mean I like you. I am fine just dealing. To much stuff is going on. Sean still wanting me…Kelly having feelings for me…. school is becoming too stressful…Manny and I are barely talking…" Emma had no idea why she was telling Jay all this stuff, but she did.

"Whoa…wait a minute…. if we are to have a conversation like this…. then I need a little fun." He pulled out a joint…."You in?" He asked Nelson thinking she would say no, but he would be semi polite and offer.

Emma eyed Jay and then the joint. "Count me in."

Jay eyed her with shock and surprise. He smiled a handsome, devilish smile, "Green peace…. there is hope for you yet."

Emma did not know why but that smile made she shiver.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	3. Getting deeper in trouble

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter Three: Getting deeper in trouble

Emma sat next to Jay and took the joint, "I have done this before…and newsflash Green peace is old…. call me blaze. It's what Becca and a few other people at school call me." She handed it back to him after taking a hit.

Jay looked at her and cocked an eye brow, "What? You? No," he took it from her hands and inhaled. He could not believe it…Emma…. did this…._ his Emma_…. wait what was that Jay thought…did he just say _….his Emma. _Jay shook his head and looked at the rolled up paper in his hand. Either the stuff was strong or Jay was going crazy. "Okay blaze…. if that's what you want."

Emma sat back and enjoyed herself. For once, she was not thinking…. to her this was not the Jay who hurt her friend and caused Manny and Emma to have a huge fight. This was Jay…. just a person hanging out and helping her take her mind off things. _He was a hot guy_…. what…did she just…did she just thing Jay was hot…. Emma closed her eyes and opened them…she must be high.

Emma heard her email ding and she got up to go check it out. It was an email from Sean. It brought a small smile to her face, but for some reason she was just not interested enough to look. She looked back at Jay and felt as if she would actually rather spend time with him then read Sean's letter. It freaked her out but she rationalized that it was because Jay was here and Sean was not.

Emma got up, took a seat back next to Jay, and laid her head back. He looked at her, "Not important?" He said. A simple question.

Emma looked at him, "Nothing that can't wait till later. So tell me Jay…. why?" she had to know. Why he hurt Manny as he did.

Jay knew what she meant. He did not need to ask at all. He sighed, "I don't know…. I mean…. I loved her…I did, but…" He was so high so he did not think before he spoke, "I got scared. I sabotaged it because I always think I am never good enough. Not good enough to be on her pedestal. I felt she wanted me to change. I cannot change who I am. Stealing and cheating is what I do…I knew I would hurt her eventually."

Emma listened. She had never seen this side of Jay. She liked it. Manny and Jay had been over for months. Emma looked at Jay, "See that's your problem. Always thinking you are going to mess up. That you are a thief and a cheater. You can change that. You ever think she might be good for you. Keep you on the straight and narrow."

Jay smirked, "Or maybe she is not the one to change me and I have not met the one yet." Jay smiled down at Emma. There was tension there. Maybe it was purely physical or maybe more, but there was always something there. The way they fought. Jay could not help it if he liked the verbal fights…. if they were a turn on. Jay knew he could never act on it…Emma belonged to Sean.

Emma had to keep reminding herself this was Jay. Manny's ex fiancé. Em could not like him. He was Sean's best friend. Yet, for some reason she felt drawn to him. She leaned a little closer. Their faces very close.

Jay eyed her, "I should get going Blaze. I have work. How about I come by tonight. We can have some more fun…of the legal kind." He did not move thought. Their lips mere inches apart. He had to resist with all his power. Jay slowly stood up and walked out the door.

Emma sighed. Had she really wanted the kiss? She wanted to say no, but for some reason the answer was yes. Now Emma was confused. Could she be falling for Jay or was this because she was starved for attention from a guy and Jay was giving her the attention. Emma remembered the email and went to read it.

_Emma,_

_Hey. How are you? I am fine considering I am still in Iraq. I will be home by the end of the month. I miss you so much. Your smiling face gets me through all the sleepless nights. I just want to hold you and smell the vanilla. I can't stop smelling it. Everywhere I turn. I know you told me you wanted space and that we were only going to be friends, but Em. I miss you. I cannot handle this without you and I need you when I come home. I need to see your face and feel you in my arms. I need your help to get me over this. I love you…_

_Sean_

Emma read and reread the email. It tugged at her heartstrings. She had been wanting to hear those words for a long time, but a month was a long time. She felt guilty for wanting to spend more time with Jay. She decided to email Sean back.

_Sean,_

_I got your email. I miss you too. The idea of you being in Iraq kills me. I want you home safely. I can't imagine what I would do if you got hurt or did not come home. I am so glad you will be home in a month. We have lot to catch up on. I will be here to help you. I will always be your friend…and we can see what happens…I am not saying I do not love you Sean. I love you so much, but things are different. I want to start as friends…. and I will be by your side along with your other friends. I wont ditch you. I want to be there for you. I want to help you. I can't wait for you to come home._

_Emma_

However, that was the problem. Part of her did not want Sean to come home. A month was too soon. She wanted more time with jay. How had this happened? It had been two days and she wanted to see more of Jay.

To Be Continued….


	4. One Month Later

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter Four: One month later…

A month had flown by and things were more complicated then ever. Sean had come home. He was injured and was in the hospital right now. He was going to be okay. Emma had gone to visit him everyday. So had Jay, but they went at different times. Hoping not to run into each other. Emma decided to take a walk. She went to a playground at the ravine and sat on a swing. She moved on it slowly just thinking back.

Flashback: Three weeks ago

_Jay was walking into his apartment after work only to find Emma in his kitchen. "I forgot I gave you a key. How drunk was I when I did that Blaze…." Jay asked with a smirk as he sat his stuff down. He eyed her, "What are you doing?"_

_Emma smiled and turned to look at Jay, "I did some shopping. Your cabinets need food and I bought my self some things as well. No need to thank me."_

_Jay snorted, "Thank you…I do not remember asking you to take care of me. I remember asking you to stop bothering me." Jay went into the bathroom to clean up. He took a quick shower and then got dressed. He walked back out and sat on the couch._

_Emma was eating and pushed a plate of food at him, "I am so not bothering you and you know it. Besides you like my company now. Admit it…I am different then you thought." _

_Jay ate his food for a few moments without saying a word, "Okay…sure…if that's what you need to hear." Jay did enjoy having her around. They had been hanging out for a week. It was actually not so bad. Jay hated to think that but it was true. _

_When they finished the food Emma took the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. She started to clean up her mess. Then she sat back down on the couch, "Movie?"_

_Jay got up without a word and put in a scary movie. He turned the light down low. This was a routine for them. Hanging and watching a movie. Jay sat back on the couch as the movie started. About thirty minutes into the movie a scary part came up and Emma practically jumped into Jay's lap. He could not help but smile._

"_Okay next time I clarify no scary movies." She hide her face in his chest. Jay smelled that sweet vanilla as he lightly stroked her hair._

"_You're a big scaredy cat for a girl. Then again that does not surprise me Blaze." Jay remarked as she hide. _

_Emma hit his chest, "Hello I am a girl. Just because I am not like Alex or Mel does not mean a thing. A normal girl would be scared of a man in a mask coming after someone with a huge ax."_

_Jay laughed, "Knife…"_

"_What?" Emma asked._

Jay smiled, "It's a big knife, and if you were like them you would not be on my lap now would you." Jay could not help but flirt. He looked at Emma's scared face and it got to his heart. He could now see why Sean was crazy about this girl. Their faces had been mere inches apart before but this time the lips touch. All the sexual build up came out in one kiss.

End flashback

Emma was remembering the first kiss while on the swings as Jay was walking in the direction toward Emma remembering more then that kiss.

Flashback: One week Ago

"_This is so wrong." Emma said as she was on Jay's lap kissing on his couch. She just could not stop. Something about making out with Jay given the history and all was hot. Emma knew it was wrong. She could not help it. This newfound passion she had for this man. This was not the person she knew. Jay had been sweet, charming, smooth, and something about the way they fought was so hot._

_Jay smiled as his hands ran up her back, "What's so wrong Blaze…from my point of view it seems okay." He pulled her lips back to his and he slide his tongue into her mouth._

_Jay was different then Sean. Sean was gentle and nice, but Jay…. he just took it. Sean asked for permission to kiss and Jay would just pushed her against the wall and kissed her. They had been doing that a lot for the past two weeks. Emma had gone somewhat far with Jay. Like what happened in the van far. She loved every minute of it._

_Emma laughed, "Its wrong…. isn't there a bro code or something. I mean you are Manny's ex and she warned me about you. I told her about this and Manny told me I have been warned. Last time you told Sean about us you got punched."_

_Jay shook his head, "Do you want to stop? If so then I will never say a word to Sean." Jay's mood turned sour at the idea of Sean coming home at the end of the week. _

_Emma bit her lower lip. Then she kissed Jay, "No…. don't stop." She kissed him with a passion she did not have for Sean. Then again, she had not seen Sean in over a year. Not since, he visited during her senior year. She liked this too much to stop. And they did not stop. Clothes were quickly shed and Jay picked Emma up and deposited her on his bed. That night their bodies became one. It was filled with fire; passion and roughness Sean would not dare use._

End Flashback

Jay saw Emma in the distance. He walked over and smiled, "Sean got released today. He is at my place." Jay sat next to her on the other swing, "You're avoiding me."

Emma looked at him, "Sean came home hurt. He needs me and I slept with his best friend. I know he went home. I can't face him."

"Is what we did that bad? Is it our fault if we like each other?" Jay pointed out.

Emma sighed, "I know I have been avoiding you. Sorry and no, I do not regret what I did. I mean…. it was amazing, but Sean is hurt. He can't take hearing about us now. Sean will be pissed. He will kill you…."

Jay shook his head, "Sean is a big boy. He needs to get over it. Look I want you and I will not say sorry for that, but if you are still hung up on Sean then fine." Jay stood up, "He is at my place if you need to see him. I am going to crash with a friend tonight." Jay walked away. He was pissed. Emma had gotten to him and he hated it. He hated how he fell for the vanilla smell and that innocent smile. Jay was damn frustrated.

"Jay…." Emma could kicked herself. She got up and decided to go see Sean. She did not know whom she wanted. Jay was…he was different. There was a side of Jay she had never seen before. Jay was different then she remembered in high school. She had totally misjudged him.

Emma knocked on the door as Sean answered. He was wearing jeans and a white tank top. "You are back and that's all you have to wear." Emma walked in and took her jacket off. "I see you are staying here…in the spare room." She turned to look at Sean.

Sean closed the door, "Well Jay offered. He had a second room and I need a place so. And as for my wardrobe I do not recall you complaining before." He walked over to Emma and brushed some hair out of her face, "I missed you Em. Seeing you in that hospital…I needed that."

Emma felt something. Not like what she felt with Jay. But something would always exist with Sean. They had a history…but the question was what did she have with Jay…was it a one time thing or was it more…. Emma had no idea. "Sean…I…." Emma had no words to say. He had been injured…in a war…how could she say anything…

To Be Continued…..


	5. The Cop Out

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 5: The Cop Out

"Sean…. I…" She started. It was just words…_I slept with jay…. I might like him_…. how hard was that to say. Did she like Jay…. this was Jay Hogart. The same guy who use to mess with her in high school. The guy she use to fight with all the time. The one she could not stand…but for the past month…being with Jay felt different…. the question was how different.

Emma looked at Sean. He had his arm in a sling and his knee had a brace on it. Therefore, Emma coped out. She decided not to tell him. Instead, she smiled, "I am glad you are okay considering."

Sean was far from okay. He had issues. Mostly at night. He could barely sleep over there. Who knew how he would sleep here. Sean looked at Emma. She was a sight for sore eyes. He reached out his good hand and brushed some hair out of Emma's face. He brought her face to his and kissed her deeply. He was unaware of what was going on between his best friend and the girl he loved.

Emma kissed Sean back. Emotions flowed through her, but it was a mix of emotions. She was comparing the kiss to Jay…she was comparing everything to Jay. The same she did when she was with Jay. Sean slowly pulled Emma with him, "I missed you so much. Seeing you at the hospital…Em…I need you now…"

Those words hurt. She could not do it. She took the coward's way out and let Sean have her. How could she deny him? She had loved him since 7th grade. This thing with Jay was new. Sean was old, but whom did she want. Emma was filled with mix emotions as she kissed Sean. Words escaped her.

Emma followed Sean into the spare room. "Sean you're hurt…." She protested as Sean pulled her down onto the bed.

Sean smiled, "I do not care. I just need you…. I need you next to me." He said softly.

Emma looked down at Sean and laid next to him. They kissed some more. She ran her hands through his short hair. She was trying to find something…. anything different. Anything to tell her whom to choose. Did she choose Jay…. with his rough, hard exterior, but his sweet and nice interior. Alternatively, did she pick Sean the man she had been in love with her whole life?

Sean was lost in the vanilla scent. He needed familiar. Something to bring him backs to reality and get his head out of the war zone. Right now Emma was that thing. Had he known about her and Jay…this would be going very differently?

Emma and Sean continued to kiss and shed clothes. She was mindful of his knee and his shoulder. Soon their bodies become intertwined as they made love or had sex…which ever you want to call it. Emma had not meant to, but she just could not deny Sean. He seemed so broken.

For once in a long time, Sean slept soundly. Holding Emma helped keep the nightmares away. He slept peacefully by her side. Emma on the other hand had no idea what to do. She tosses and turned. Jay…Sean…Jay…Sean…what should she do….

Did she pick Sean…the man who every time he came back she ended back up in his loving and gentle arms. The guy she trusted never to cheat or hurt her anymore. The men who use to be a thug and criminal but were now a good and decent guy. The guy who was gentle in bed…with soft hands and gentle kisses

On the other hand, did she pick Jay…. the hardcore criminal. The stubborn man that was resistant to change. The guy who made her blood boil with anger, but could be soothe with one kiss. The man who she loved to hate…whose fighting made things hotter. The guy who was rough in the bedroom and not afraid to take what he wanted or asks for anything kinky.

The next morning Jay came home. He needed a shower and to get to work. He decided to look in on Sean and the sight before him…. well Jay had hoped not to see it. Emma in bed with Sean…naked…Jay was instantly pissed off.

Emma heard the door open and looked up, "Jay…." She said as she saw the look on his face. She pulled the sheet up, "Jay…. please…." she said as he turned and walked away. Jay hit the wall and cursed under his breath. Sean woke up and rubbed his eyes. He looked at Emma.

Emma and Sean both got dressed. She raced after jay, "Just let me explain."

"Explain what…. you made your choice. Do not explain shit. I do not want to hear it." Jay yelled, "I thought…I thought we had something…. I mean it…. I mean you of all people…. I knew there was a reason I did not like you Blaze."

Sean walked in after dressing. It took him longer because of the sling and brace. He heard the end of it, "Jay man…why you upset."

Jay eyed Sean and grabbed his sandwich, "Just getting my heart stomped on by the most unlikely person."

Sean looked at Emma and then at Jay. He was confused. Very confused. Emma looked down. "Just calm down…."

Sean scratched the top of his head, "Someone want to tell me what in the world is going on…."

Jay scoffed, "You're little girlfriend here is a hypocrite. She sits here and spends all month with me…. We make out and have sex and the moment you come back, she sleeps with you…. Yeah that's what's going on…your girlfriend needs to quit screwing with peoples heads."

Sean looked at Emma, "You…you and Jay had sex…." He shook his head, "What the ravine was not enough for both of you!" Sean yelled. He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I can' believe this…my best friend and the woman I love…. How could you do this…"? Sean looked at Jay.

Jay looked back, "So not look at me…it was her…. man…I am sorry, but it…it happened…I liked her…. and I thought she liked me…." Then both men looked at Emma.

Emma stayed silent she shrugged, "Sean…. Jay…. I…" Once again words escaped her…. and once again she coped out and took the cowards way out, "I have to go…" Emma grabbed her jacket and headed out the door.

Both guys watched her go and then went into the two rooms slamming the door loudly.

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. No Regrets

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 6: No Regrets

Emma walked all the way home. She ran into her house and down to the basement. Her parents were gone again with jack and Connor. They were on this traveling kick. Emma had been refusing to go in order to spend time with Jay. Now she wished she had gone. Thing shad blown up in her face. Had Emma liked Jay at all…or was the thing with jay something she needed at the time. Male attention. Or was she actually moving on for once. Emma was so damn confused. She sat on her bed panicking…she was freaking out.

Jay decided to go to work. He was pissed off and all the cars knew it. How could she? What did he expect? Jay Hogart was always second fiddle to Sean Cameron. That dude got everything he wanted. Did Jay even want Emma? It was Emma Nelson…Green peace…Blaze…. he should not like her. She was opposite everything he was, yet he liked her…. it happened fast and unexpected, but after one month Jay Hogart liked Emma Nelson. If someone told him, back in high school this would have happened he would have laughed in the persons face.

Sean had left Jay's. He could not stand staying there knowing he and Emma….it made him sick to his stomach. Emma…his Emma and his best friend. How could they? Sean had been to hell and back. He was just looking forward to coming home and putting his life back. That was not going to happen now. Sean kicked the ground a few times. He needed a new place to stay.

ONE WEEK LATER:

A week went by. Sean and Jay did not talk and Emma avoided them both. Sean returned back to Jay's to gather his things. He would be staying with Alex. Jay was home. The two men eyed each other with hatred they never had before for one another.

Sean was the first to speak, "Why man? Emma….of all the woman you choose Emma….why dude."

Jay turned toward Sean and leaned against the counter in the kitchen, "I never meant for it to be her. I mean its not like I love her, but she….I don't know…she was here and it as nice. We got along. She helped me….after the break up with Manny I…I went down…got depressed and Emma….well surprisingly she pulled me out. She bugged me until I smiled." Jay smirked and gave a small smile.

Sean nodded, "She does that. Its annoying. She never gives up until she gets her way." Sean agreed with Jay. Emma had this way about her. She was annoying but it was a cuteness about her. "I just….you know I love her….you know our history…so how could you do this?'

Jay shrugged, "I told you I don't know. Some where along the way I started to like her. I never meant for it dude. Your like my brother, but man I like her."

Sean sighed and sat down, "Yeah I get it. I know man. I have known since seventh grade how Emma gets to you. " Sean shook his head, "I am pissed off, but….dude we have been through so much that I still want to be your friend, but I am mad…it hurts. But I am mad at her too. She stood here and did not say a word."

Jay looked at Sean, "I know, but you can't be mad at her…I mean….I think she is just as confused as any of us. And I am mad too that she did not tell you, but I am sorry…I don't regret sleeping with her or liking her."

Sean ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, "I know man, but I can hurt for a bit you know. I thought I was coming home to her. Not to her being with you. Dude when did you become so…..wise or sensitive?" Sean said with a small laugh.

Jay snorted, "I don't know man, but don't get use to it. I am still an ass." Jay grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed one to Sean, "So we cool?"

Sean took the beer, "Not yet, but we will be." With that said Sean got up and headed to the room he had been staying in. Jay in turn plopped on the couch to watch TV.

Meanwhile, Emma was still in her room hiding. She knew she needed to see both me. Yet, she had no idea what to say. She tried to talk to Manny and that did not work out well.

_Flashback: Three days a ago_

"_Hey Manny, it's Emma. I know we have not been talking lately but I miss you." Emma said as she called Manny._

_Manny answered in a cheery tone, "I know Em, but we needed time. Friends fight. Its what we do. I never blamed you for what happened with Jay. I should have known better. You still hanging with him?"_

"_Not really. Manny…something happened. And…I don't know what to do…I know you warned me about Jay, but I kept hanging with him and well…we slept together."_

_Manny screamed, "You what? Emma Nelson how could you….You had sex with Jay!"_

"_I know Manny. I never meant for it to happen, but it did. I don't know. We kissed a few times and then one thing led to another. Manny I feel awful….Sean came home remember and I slept with him too."_

_Manny sighed over the phone, "Emma…how could you…two guys…what the hell is wrong with you? Why on earth would you sleep with Jay? I mean…do they both know."_

"_Yeah. Jay caught Sean and I in bed. So Jay got pissed and told Sean. Then Sean got pissed and I have not talked to them for a few days."_

_Manny nodded her head even if Emma could not see it, "Emma you can't avoid them. Look just tell Sean what happened with Jay was a mistake and you won't do it again."_

"_But, Manny that's just it….I do not regret having sex with Jay. I liked it. I…I think I like him, but I love Sean…Manny what do I do." Emma was begging for an answer._

_Manny had no idea what to say, "I can't help you. You dug yourself a hole…you have to get out. I know that makes me seem like a bitch, but you screwed up. You are playing with two guys Em…that's not cool."_

_End Flashback_

Emma wanted an answer and Manny did not give her one. Instead Manny made Emma feel even guiltier. She had played with two guys and now she was stuck. Who to choose….yet Emma did not want to make a choice. She wanted to be selfish. Both were amazing guys. Sure Jay was an ass, but she kind of found that exciting and Sean…well he was Sean enough said.

Emma finally got the courage to walk out of her house and go to Jay's. They all needed to talk. Emma was on her way to Jay's but instead she backed out. Emma could not face them yet. So instead she ended up in the last place anyone would look. The break room with a beer in her hand.

TO BE CONTINUED…


	7. Whats up with Emma?

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 7: What's up with Emma?

Emma ordered a whiskey sour. She had never had it before but she just needed something. She took the drink and sipped it. She made a face. How could people drink this? It tasted nasty. She almost chocked on it, but instead she drowned it all. She just needed a little liquid courage. Just a little.

Before she knew it, Emma had ordered a bunch of drinks. She had a pleasant buzz. Like the one, she had at the unfortunate party when JT was killed. Yet without the need to throw up this time. Emma was stumbling around and could barely walk. This was so unlike Emma. Yet here she was drinking away her guilt, pain, and confusion.

Meanwhile Sean had decided to stay at Jay's instead. He did not feel like leaving and going to Alex's. He could be hurt and mad at Jay's place. He stayed to the room. There was a TV and magazines for him. Sean mostly looked at pictures and yearbooks. He was reminiscing about a lot. It hurt to know Emma and Jay hooked up. Could he really blame them? Emma and Jay had both been single. It just hurt neither one told him. He wondered if they would have ever told him.

Jay stayed in the living room. He was distracting himself. He was bored and got up. He knocked on Sean's door, "I am heading out to grab a beer. Want to come?"

Sean looked up and stood up, "Yeah."

The boys left for the break room. Meanwhile it was midnight and Emma was hammered. She was stumbling to the door. Well, she was having help. Some strange guy had his arm around her and was walking her out of the door. He planned to get lucky with the drunken blonde.

As the guy was coming out her dumped into Sean and Jay. The two guys did not notice Emma because she was slumped over in the guy's arms. The boys gave the man a dirty look and the man gave the boys one. The girl in the guy's arms groaned and that's when both Jay and Sean recognized Emma.

Jay was the first to swing. He did not even ask questions he just clocked the guy holding Emma. The guy fell back letting go of Emma. Sean was quick to grab and hold onto her, as Jay continued to assault the guy.

"Jay…come on man." Sean set Emma against the wall and tried to pull jay off. It was hard to do with one arm, but he managed. Jay walked over and swooped Emma into his arms. Both guys looked at her and carried her to Jay's place. Well this would be tons of fun Jay thought.

At Jay's, place the plopped Emma on the couch. Both of them had no idea what to do. Neither had seen Emma like this…..well once, but no one talked about that.

"What do we do…..I mean this is awkward enough already…" Jay wondered.

Sean shrugged, "I have no idea I mean….I have never seen her get drunk. This should be one of us." He gave a small snort.

Emma looked around. She was drunk and on some guys couch. She looked up and saw four eyes staring at her, "Can you two not hover please?" Emma slurred.

Jay had to admit this was freaking hilarious, "Sorry Blaze but you are on my couch, can't help it."

Sean eyed her, "Emma what is wrong with you?'

Emma got up, but then fell right back down, "Me…wrong with me.. nothing.. I am fine…just freakin peachy…"

Sean shook his head, "Come on stop being such a…well such a you know…"

Emma shrugged, "can't help it…its what I do…I ruin things and make people mad and just lose control…and sleep with two guys….and make mistakes…"

Jay's smiled disappeared, "Your saying it was a mistake…what was a mistake…."

Emma eyed him, "All of it…everything…him ….you…it was one big mistake. never should have happened…..you both took advantage of me...Jay because I was in pain over not having Sean…and Sean because its Sean…how could I say no"

That hurt…both guys were hurt. Sean eyed her and tried to refrain from saying something, "You're the one playing with us…you knew damn well what you were doing…so do not play the victim. You know what…I am going to bed." Sean turned around and headed into the spare room.

Jay looked at Emma, "Now who is the jerk. You're not a nice drunk. None of us did anything to you. You could have said no, but you did not want to. You want to have your cake and eat it too. Well sooner or later it will bite you in the butt…well by the looks of it seems sooner then later."

Emma watched Sean go, "Run away its all Sean ever does…run away…to the damn army. not caring who will be hurt in the process." Then she looked at jay, "Oh look who is talking Mister I can't commit. Why would I want you when all you ever do is lie and cheat. You're a one way ticket to a broken heart."

Jay was hurt. It really bruised his ego. He was going to say something but instead he waved her off and walked away. He had to .

Emma passed out on Jay's couch. So, they left here there. A few hours later Emma rushed to the bathroom to pay homage to the porcelain god. She gave back everything she had to drink. Emma laid her head against the toilet. "I feel like shit."

A voice broke into her thoughts and handed her a water, "You were pretty wasted. Drink this…it helps."

Emma took the water and swallowed, "What in the world happened. I do not remember even drinking. I do not remember anything."

The guy sat next to her and shrugged, "So you do not remember insulting us or saying we did this to you and basically just being a way bigger jerk then I could ever be."

Emma drank some more water and leaned her back against the wall. She eyed the guy. "I have no idea what the heck is wrong with me. I keep screwing up. I mean…I am failing at Smith dale. Many and I are…well who knows what and not to mention I slept with you and Sean. Now apparently I made an utter fool of myself by saying things I probably did not mean…I hate this"

Jay just shook his head. He was still very mad, but he wanted to make sure she was okay. He had no idea why, but he needed to know. Sean was fast asleep, but Jay had stayed awake to check on Emma, "Sorry, but you did it to yourself. Its what you do Blaze. Worry yourself to death and then cause issues. And you run over people and their feelings in the process.

Emma eyed him," Do you have to be a prick?"

Jay nodded, "You're playing with us…and I don't like being played with. I really thought we had something. I showed a side no one sees and you go and pull some crap like this and sleep with Sean…if you did not want me then next time tell me." Jay was going to stand, but Emma grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

Emma moved closed and placed her head against his chest, "I am sorry. I just…I do not deal with stress and problems well. I just….I don't know…." Emma started to cry.

Jay cursed under his breath, "I am trying to be mad at you and you are making it hard…..damn Sean was right….no one can be mad at you for long…" He looked at her crying form, scooped her up again, and took her to his bed. Jay hated to see a woman cry. Then he could not be a jerk to her.

TO BE CONTINUED……


	8. Make it Stop

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 8: Make it Stop

Emma woke up sometime later in the day. She checked the clock in Jay's it said 2pm. She groaned and looked next to her. The bed was empty. She did not remember much of last night, but she remembered Jay carrying her to his room, but did he stay. She looked down and she had on clothes. Emma let out another sigh. She did not want to get up. She slowly made her way out of bed and walked out of the door. BAM! She ran right into Sean. They both looked at each other. Sean was in a towel. Water dripping down his chest from his wet hair.

She swallowed air, "You seen Jay…I…I wanted to thank him for letting me crash in his bed."

"He went to work. Left an hour ago. He won't be back until later." Sean nodded.

Emma sighed, " can you thank him for me."

"Fine whatever." Sean walked by her limping. He was still injured. Emma watched him go. She walked over and touched his shoulder.

"I am sorry. About last night. I mean…I don't remember what I said, but…from the look on your face I guess it was bad." Emma said to Sean.

Sean looked at her, "Em what are you doing? What is wrong with you? I know you…and something is not right." Sean told her. He looked at her and touched her face, "I mean…this…is not you. If you want me then fine…if you want Jay…then I will deal, but you need to figure it out because this is not cool."

Emma rolled her eyes, "Figure it out…I know that. This all sucks. I never asked for this. Things with Jay just happened so fast. And you…damn it Sean…it you…when I am around you I can't think right. Why did you have to come back…say all those things…why?"

Sean had to laugh at that last part, "Sorry that's not my fault. I love you. Its how I feel. Do not blame that on me. Em…You cant have us both. You know that. You can't play with our hearts. This is not high school. Grow up. Figure out what the heck you want or who the heck and stick to it for once. Your like a damn ping pong ball sometimes."

Emma clenched her fists, "You know nothing about me any more. You put me through hell by going to the army. You did it without asking. Then you start saying you want me and you love me. Did you think that would make it okay." Emma raised her voice, "You mess with my head Sean…. you always do…I hate you for that. You're the one who plays games. "

Sean threw his hands up, "I love you…I wont apologize for that. I wont let you turn this on me. I did what I had to do form my life. I just wanted to give myself a better life." Sean told her trying to calm down, "You…you can't fault me for that. I did was so that I could be the man you needed. One who could take care of you and not spend the rest of his life in a garage."

Emma eyed him, "Like Jay. No, say it. You do not want to be like Jay. Slaving away fro the rest of your life. How dare you say that…you call yourself his best friend."

Sean clenched his jaw, "Now you stop right there. Jay and I are best friend. Do not assume anything by what I am saying. How dare you pass judgment on me. Jay knows what he wants to do with his life. I know what I want to do with my life…what about you?"

Emma wanted to throttle him, "I just want it all to stop. All of it…can you both just go away. Leave me alone."

Just then, Jay walked in. He always came in at the wrong time, "If you want us to leave you alone…here is the door…" Jay said.

Emma looked at Jay and then at Sean, "Don't you start too. I mean ….you both are driving me crazy." Emma scoffed and grabbed her jacket.

Jay looked at her, "We are driving you crazy. You're the one playing with out feelings….for once I can honestly say this is not my fault. You called me the liar and the cheat…what about you…" jay started up.

"Shut it Jay. You have no idea what Sean and I were even fighting about." Emma said looking at Jay and then Sean and then back to jay.

Jay shook his head, "I don't need to, but the fact you said you wanted us both to leave you alone. What did I miss." Jay thought about the night before, "You sure your not bipolar like Craig."

Emma eyed him and hit his chest, "You're a prick…..you can never be nice….I am not crazy…I am just….so sick of this crap…." Emma barged past Jay and walked out.

Sean and jay eyed each other, "So what did I miss?" Jay asked.

"Dude nothing. I asked her what was up and she went off about me…joining the army and basically said I did this to her." Sean told Jay, "dude why are you here? Don't you have work?"

Jay laughed, "No….I just said that because you were taking to long in the bathroom like always. And I wanted a shower." Jay laughed for a bit then said. "One of us will have to talk to her sooner or later you know."

Sean threw his shirt at Jay, "I prefer later." Sean went to go get dressed.

Jay smiled, "Hey." He said as Sean threw the shirt, "I brought food back." He laughed again and sighed, "Me too. Let her be the one to come to us. I am sick of trying to be the bigger person or what ever." Jay said as Sean left.


	9. Undeniable Truths

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 9: Undeniable Truths

Emma walked back to her parents place. She needed to hide out. She was flunking at Smithdale. Okay she was not doing that badly, but she was not doing well. She was distracted and felt the loss of control. What was wrong…this is what was wrong?

Emma grabbed some food from the cabinets and ate it. She had been starving. It took ten minutes to eat. Ten minutes. She stood up and went to her room for about five minutes. Then she got up, headed into the bathroom, and threw up.

That is right…Emma was Anorexic again. She had only eaten because for once her mother was home. Or else she would not have eaten at all. Emma flushed the toilet and wiped her mouth. She brushed her teeth and laid on her bed falling asleep again. When she woke up it was 8 pm. Emma spent the rest of the day hiding out in her home.

**Two Weeks Later:**

Emma decided to stay hidden. She had to. She could not face the guys. No one could help her. Em had lost control. It all started with the whole Becca situation. Becca being sent to the hospital because of her brownies. Then Kelly was kicked out. Then Manny started hating Emma. She felt like she lost it all. Then her grades plummeted. She slept with Jay, Sean came back, and she slept with him.

The only thing Emma could control was what she ate and gave back to the toilet. Therefore, Emma slowly progressed back into her eating disorder. She just needed something. College was finally over and Emma was back in TO permanently now. She knew she had to deal eventually. She preferred later. Too bad, that was not going to happen.

Emma came home one day from being out. No one was home so she went down stairs. She was wearing baggy clothes in the middle of summer. She had lost weight. Her eyes looked sunken in and she looked horrible. Emma walked to the basement and did not even see the figure in the background.

"Aren't you hot in that. You are hiding from us. From me. I tried to call you Emma." Sean said as he approached her. "Look I feel bad about the fight and what I said, but I know you. What is wrong? I mean look at you." After two weeks, she looked even worse. Sean shook his head.

Emma scoffed, "Go away. Leave me alone." Emma told him.

Sean sighed, "No…I am not leaving. Come on…just talk to me. Like you use too. What happened? I can take it…are you in love with Jay…Is that what all this is about?" Sean asked.

"In love with Jay…no that's not what this is about…I don't know how I feel about Jay…I don't know how I feel about you…look just leave me alone."

Sean grabbed her arm and pulled her to him and looked in her eyes, "I am not leaving…. what is going on? Are you…. are you eating?"

Emma rolled her eyes. She needed to shut Sean up. So she did the only thing she could think of. She kissed him.

"Em, wait…come on…" Sean tried to push her off, but he did not want to hurt her. Emma kissed him again. She knew how to get Sean to stop asking questions. She had to seduce him. Emma was not in her right frame of mind. She pushed Sean back down onto the bed and straddled him. She took charge. She was in control.

Clothes quickly hit the floor as Sean was over come by the woman on his lap. How could he resist when she did all the right things. No man could resist. Therefore, Sean went along. She ran his hands down her body and laid her down. Then they had sex.

A few hours later Emma faked sleeping so Sean would leave. And it worked, Sean left. He had tried to talk to her and see if she was awake, but Emma stayed silent. Emma felt super guilty for sleeping with Sean again. She felt bad for Jay. She had enjoyed sex with Jay. He brought out a side of her that she did not know she had.

Emma got up and showered. She decided to go see Jay. Emma needed to talk to him. She once again wore baggy clothes. She still looked bad. She knocked on Jay's door.

Jay was laying on the couch. He heard the knock and got up. He opened the door. He was shirtless. Emma eyed his chest and felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach. He looked damn good. Then again so did Sean. Damn…. she suspected she liked both guys, but who did she like more…. was it even possible to like two guys at once.

"Can we talk? Is Sean here?" Emma asked.

Jay moved out of the way and let her in, "Sean got his own place. Move out two days ago. He figured it was time. Got a job too." Jay told her. So, they were alone.

Jay sat down again. Emma had this feeling. This emptiness inside. Nothing could fill it. Not sex with Sean. Maybe sex with Jay could. Emma wanted to feel something, but she felt numb. "I wanted to say I am sorry. The way I acted."

Jay looked at her. "Man you look like…well not good. You alright Blaze." Jay asked shaking his head as he moved over so she could sit. He would not touch her this time. He did not need to be used again.

Emma took a seat, "I…I don't know…I mean…." Emma had no idea what she meant, "I am confused okay…. I don't know what I want or who…"

Jay held up a hand, "Stop…. please…I am not Sean…I do not want to hear how confused you are. I will say you the trouble…. you and I will never happen. Never…. who were we even kidding. We cannot get along. We could kill each other."

Emma sighed, "Jay…no…that not true. Please. Look I am fine." Emma had convinced her self that despite her eating disorder she was fine. ""Please don't say that. You don't mean it."

"Damn Blaze look at you. Your face looks dark; your clothes do not fit. I am not stupid. Something is wrong. Everyone knows it. And do not sit here and lie. I might be stupid, but I know when I am being lied to. We are not right for each other. You were fine before me and you will be fine after." Jay got up and walked to his bedroom.

Emma sat there for a few minutes. She got up and walked to the front door, but then she turned around. No, she would not lose someone else. She lost Kelly, and Manny…. her parents were never home. All she had was Jay and Sean and she would not lose them. Sure had she not been sick with an eating disorder she might not be doing this, but oh well.

Emma opened Jay's door. Jay started, "Blaze, what are you…." Before Jay could finish, Emma was kissing him. She pushed him onto the bed and the laid on top and kissed him some more.

"Just take me…I want you now." She said with force. Emma dug her nails into Jays back leaving marks. How could Jay refuse? Had he know about the ping-pong game she was playing he would have refused.

Jay grabbed her arms roughly and practically ripped her clothes from her body. They were as rough as they could be. Just like before. Sean gentle and Jay rough. Two worlds but which one did she want. Jay and Emma had sex. Emma felt like a slut. She had sex with two guys in one day. All to protect her secret. She was playing a dangerous game.

To Be Continued…


	10. Does any body see me?

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 10: Does any body see me?

Emma wondered if anyone saw her…the real her…and what was going on. She felt like everyone was just ignoring it and well if they wanted to ignore it then fine. So deeper into her decline she fell. She began the games. Anything not to feel this sense of doom in her body. So, she used sex to distract Jay and Sean. She wanted then both. She denied her true feelings.

Emma knew she was using sex to drive the boys mad. It was the only way to distract them. They were idiots. No one saw anything. Jay and Sean could call her out all they wanted but what did they know. Really. They knew nothing about her life. Sean had been gone for over a year and Jay…. well Jay did not know her at all really.

**TWO MONTHS LATER:**

Summer arrived and Emma moved home to the basement with her family. For two months, no one noticed her decline. Sean and Jay kept their distance, but Emma dragged them both into her web. Whenever they tried to reach out Emma turned it around. She was messing with two hearts. Jay was fed up and cut her off and Sean…. he just kept coming back for the punishment.

_**Flash back:**_

_**Two weeks ago: **_

_For a month and a half, Emma had been playing Jay. She had been sleeping with him to shut him up. He was a man. How could he refuse, but then he learned about her and Sean. Jay found out because one day he went to check on Emma and found her and Sean in her bed. His heart broke._

"_I am done Emma. I try to help and all you do is play damn games. I wont do this. I wont let you rip my heart out for two months. I knew something was wrong. And I have tried to be patient which is unlike me, but this….I can't…." Jay yelled._

_Emma was crying and she approached Jay, "Please…I swear I am sorry. I love you Jay…I just…. I cannot help it…its Sean…. I mean…please just do not give up. I need you." Emma said touching Jay's arms._

_Jay back up, "Don't touch me. It is Sean. Whom the heck cares…I know its Sean, but you cannot do this. I admit I have played games, but this is wrong. Look at you. Something is wrong and you need help. Get help…. go to rehab or whatever it is you need. But for now, I am done playing this game. For two months, I have been trying to help you. Falling deeper and deeper, but I cannot do it any more. I won't." Jay said walking away._

_Emma feels to the floor crying, "Jay…please…I love you…please…."_

_Jay turned around, "Love…I don't think you know what love it…love is putting up with crap you should not have to put up with. Love is wanting a woman who apparently wants to play games….love is standing in front of you and you screwed it up. God Em, why did you not just talk to me….talk…I can handle what ever is wrong, but if you won't talk to me then I can't help you…" Jay turned and kept walking._

_Emma watched him, "And what do you know about me…nothing that's what…"_

_Jay stopped once more and turned around, "I know plenty. I know you like to be in control. I know you like to have it all. I also know you care…more then you should about people. You let their problems be your problems. You ignore your own problems because you figure you can always come back to them. I know you can make yourself sick, because you try to do it all yourself. When will you realize, that you need help." With that said Jay walked away._

_End Flash back…__Another flashback…_

_**One week ago:**_

_Sean had learned about Emma and Jay before Jay knew about him and Emma. Sean could be a patient person. He wanted Emma to figure things out. Do it on her own, but that was not happening. For the past two months, he had seen the decline. He was a good friend. Friends…that were the part that got to him. Sean found out because Jay had admitted it to him. Jay told Sean he was sleeping with Emma and that he had fallen in love with her. Sean did not have the heart to tell him that he too had been sleeping with Emma. Then a month later Jay found out._

"_Friends, Emma what do you mean friends." Sean asked her. "For two months you have been jerking me around. I have put up with it because I love you. Now you want to be friends. I thought this thing with jay was a phase. Something you needed out of your system." _

_Emma shrugged, "Sean…I love you, but only as a friend…I am sorry, but things with Jay…. I do not know and after last week. I mean he…he just walked away from me and I can't lose him."_

_Sean threw his hands up, "He walked away Emma. Walked away. I am here. Right here and you want him. How…how did this happen…. you told me we were forever. That it would always be me…."_

_Emma had tears in her eyes once again, "And I wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe that this whole thing with Jay was just a phase, but it's not…its different with him. Hanging out with him, talking to him…. its different."_

"_No. You need help. Your sick. Once your better you will realize this is crazy. You and Jay will never work. You're too different…you and I we make sense." Sean reasoned._

_Emma wiped her eyes. "First I don't need help. I am fine. Nothing is wrong and second, no…I know what I want…."_

_Sean walked away. He did not want to hear anymore, "I need some air. I will be around so we can talk later." Sean would not just walk away. Not like Jay did."_

_End flashback_

That had been a week ago and Emma was still in her decline. The realization she loved Jay just made things worse. Sean came around daily, but the guy Emma wanted was Jay. She screwed up. She had played the game for way too long and now she had lost Jay. Which just made her depressed and she stopped eating even more. No one could get through to her.

"Sean leave me alone please. I..I can't do this…just go…" Emma said as Sean once again tried to convince her to get help, "It won't do anything. I lost him. He walked away and I lost him." Emma could not believe she had been so stupid, but she had just wanted….she wanted it all and she did not want to choose.

Sean sighed, "Em…seriously….look at you…your anorexic again…I know it, you mom knows it. Get help."

Emma picked up a book and threw it at Sean's head. He ducked. Then she threw more things around the room and eventually, like she did all those years ago she ended up in a panic attack brought on by starvation. She was in the hospital. The psychiatrist had come to talk to her and suggested she check herself into rehab, but Emma refused.

Emma was over 18. So, she had a right to refuse to go to rehab. No one could force her this time. So, Emma signed out of the hospital MIA. That's when Sean went to go see Jay.

Sean had to suck it up first. Sean knocked on Jay's door.

Jay opened the door and saw Sean. He grunted and walked away leaving it open. Sean walked in and eyed Jay.

"Look man. I am sorry, but I need your help….she needs your help." Sean could not help Emma and it broke his heart.

Jay snorted, "Help her…no thanks. She is deserving what she gets. Just get out."

Sean did not move, "Jay be mad, but don't punish her. She is sick. Her eating disorder is back. She had a panic attack and she wont check herself into rehab."

Jay shrugged, "And that's my problem why. You're her boyfriend…."

"No I am not. She wants you man. Look what happened with Emma and me and you and Emma was….well it was messed up. But she needs you. No one can talk to her……but I think she will listen to you. As much as I hate this. I love her and this…her loving you…it sucks, but she needs you." Sean told Jay. It pained him to say it.

Jay looked at Sean, "No she wants me because I walked away. Because now she can't have her fun. I won't participate in this Emma web of lies and sex. Not my style anymore. If she wants me then fine, but its over. I am over this drama and over her."

"Just help her…..please….talk to her…" Sean pleaded.

TO BE CONTINUED………..


	11. How did this happen…

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 11: How did this happen…

Emma was in her room lying down on her bed. She was trapped. She could not leave because her parents were right upstairs and she did not have the strength to climb out the garage window. Therefore, she lay down and tried to sleep. How had this happened? She had no idea how things went so wrong so fast. For almost four months, Emma was in a downward spiral. The only time she had been happy was when she hung out with Jay. That was until Sean came back. Then things really went down hill because she was so confused at that point. The love of her life was back, yet she was not happy about it. She was wondering how she feels in love with Jay and not Sean.

Emma had been just as surprised when the words 'I love you' came out of her mouth when she last saw Jay and then she told Sean she just wanted to 'be friends.' At the time, the words just came out. She had no idea what she was saying.

Emma sighed as she wiped tears from her eyes. The more she thought about it. Jay and Sean. The more she could not get over why she picked Jay. How could she love him and not Sean? This was Jay…Jay Hogart. The man who annoyed her to no end. A royal pain in her butt. The one guy to get under her skin and piss her off. Yet, this was also the man with many faces. He was full of surprises. Surprises no one saw coming. He was passionate, sweet, nice, a jerk, smart and unpredictable. That's why she loved him.

Things with Sean were predictable. She knew him so well that there were no surprises left. Which was not a bad thing; it was just not, what lit her fire anymore. Sean was a great guy, but… Jay kept her guessing and as infuriating as it was, she loved it. He challenged her, they way Sean use to.

_Flashback_

_Almost four months ago (Before the first kiss/ Sean's accident/return):_

"_Jay where are we going? This is not funny. I hate blindfolds." Emma said with a smile as she held onto Jay's back as he kept walking._

_Jay smiled back at the petite blonde woman holding onto him for dear life. It had been a week since the drunken incident. A week since they got high in Emma's house. He had no idea that he would enjoy hanging out with a woman who always drove him crazy, but he just wanted to have fun. So Jay led Emma through woods with the blindfold on, "Chill Blaze you will like it. It will be worth it…just trusting me."_

"_I don't know why, but I do trust you. Just don't make me regret those words." Emma said with a smile. Emma had been hanging around Jay for a week. She just could not say no whenever he came over or called. Jay had this way about him of talking her into saying yes. It was annoying. Manny and her had a fight about Emma being on Jay's side. Whatever._

_Jay finally stopped and removed the blindfold. "I just thought I would do something nice. Prove that…I am not such a bad guy." Jay told her as he showed her the picnic lunch and blanket by the lake._

_Emma saw the picnic, "OH my god. What is this? Is this a way to prove you're not a cheating, lying, criminal that Manny thinks you are." Emma said as she crossed her arms over her chest. She was secretly loving the picnic. So romantic._

_Jay eyed her and shook his head, "Exactly. Look, I did those things to Manny, but for once, I would rather not talk about Manny. I would rather focus on us. Come…lets eat."_

"_There is no us. We are just friends…not even…just two people who are hanging out." Emma corrected Jay as she took a seat on the blanket._

_Jay nodded and sat down, "I never said there was an us. I said I wanted to focus on us, who said we were dating. Do I look like Sean Cameron. No thanks." Jay said to her as he dished out the food. He could be a decent guy and that was the point. To break Emma of seeing him as the liar and the cheater._

"_You are no Sean, that's for sure. I would not have dated Sean had he been like you…" Emma said. This was the way they were. Banter back and forth, but it was fun._

_Jay laughed, "You wish I would have wanted you like that. Sorry your not my type Blaze. Too much of goody good. I need a girl with a little bit of devil in her."_

_Emma rolled her eyes, "Right…the devil…you would. Did you ever think that maybe that is your problem. You are dating the wrong kind of girls…." Emma pointed out._

_Jay laughed some more, "What do you care who I date…and becareful. Your best friend was one of those girls remember."_

_Emma eyed him, "Manny pleads temporary insanity for that."_

_Jay looked at Emma and gave her a devilish, wicked grin, "Oh really…then why are you here…with me…" Jay said as he leaned closer to Emma._

_Emma felt the heat as Jay leaned in. Their lips mere inches apart once again, "I…I ….will you just shut up so I can enjoy this." Emma said, but she did not move._

_Jay moved closer. His breath was against her skin. He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Just admit, your happy to be here…with me…you can't deny…there is something here. You know you want to…." He leaned closer. Lips a centimeter apart and then pulled back. A tease. He went to kiss her and then retracted just to tease her. Jay smiled, "Let's eat."_

_Emma was disappointed. She felt sad and pissed off. Had she really wanted him to kiss her. Did she really expect that….it kind of hurt that he did not kiss her. Emma shook the thoughts out of her head, "You're a butt head and I am starving."_

_End flashback…_

That day was fresh in Emma's mind. The first real time she considered kissing Jay. The first time she saw him as more then a criminal, a liar and a cheat. That day was burned into her memory and she could not forget it. Now things had gone terribly wrong. She was stuck and she did not like it. Emma had no control over Jay. With Sean, she knew how to work him, but Jay was unpredictable and that got to her.

All the sudden Emma heard a knock on her door. She wiped her eyes again and yelled, "Come in." She figured it was Sean. Great. She rolled her eyes. Another fight. Another day of him telling her to get help. She did not want help. What she wanted was to crawl into a hole and hide from the world.

Emma did not move from the bed. Her back was to the stairs. "Please just go away."

Jay sat down on the steps and looked at her, "You just told me to come in and now you want me to go away. See this is why I don't like woman. You all are damn hormonal or something."

Jay's voice jogged Emma from her thoughts. She jumped off the bed and looked at him. Then Emma ran and hugged Jay. "I am sorry, please…I am sorry…"

Jay did not move or even hug her back. He just let her have her hug. He was still very upset. No one had played the games she did. Jay had been hiding feelings for Emma for a very long time. Since high school. There was always something that intrigued him. Yet, he kept it at bay because of Sean. Now things were different. For once, his heart was broken and there was no getting over that. "Yeah I get it. Your sorry."

Emma finally let go, "Please don't be mad. I need you…please…"

Emma looked so pitiful. It was hard to stay mad, "Tears might work on Sean. They might make him forgive and forget, but not me. I wont be such a fool. You need help. You need to go to rehab and get help. This is not cool and I won't let you keep hurting me like this. I am mad….so mad and I don't know if I want anything to do with you after this." Jay was being honest.

Emma sighed. She only had herself to blame, "Come on Jay….I will be better. I will change…I just…I don't know…just don't be like that.. You have had so many second chances….this is not fair."

"Not fair. What's not fair is when I told you…to your face I wanted us and you turned around and continued to sleep with Sean and me, instead of telling me the truth. You lied right to my face." Jay said with a shake of his head, "What's not fair is me feeling like your life depends on my shoulders. I am not in control of your life Emma. I want to be a part of it, not in control of it." Jay pointed out.

_Flash back:_

_Two months ago:_

_Emma and Jay lay in his bed after a night of wild, hot, passionate sex. Heck they were just finishing doing the deed. Jay and Emma both laid there panting. "damn…I mean damn Blaze." Jay said._

_Emma smiled, "I know. That was…I think I will have bruises later today."_

_Jay shrugged, "You make it easy to get carried away." He smiled._

"_You make it fun to have the rough. I like it." She said touching his chest._

_Jay sighed, "Look Em, as fun as this is…" damn this was hard to say._

"_Did you just call me Em. Hold the phone I think I need a camera. Jay Hogart called me Em instead of some silly nickname." Emma said with a laugh._

_Jay pulled her closer to his body, "Funny, very funny. What I am trying to say is I like you and I want there to be an us. Just us. No Sean or anyone else. Just you and me. Unless there is a you and Sean? I mean are you with him too…." At the time, Jay did not know about Emma and Sean. He thought Emma was only seeing him as a booty call._

_Emma took a deep breath as Jay said that. Yes there was a her and Sean. She had just seen him the day before. Emma was using both guys as a booty call so to speak. Yet with what Jay just said Emma knew if she admitted the truth she could lose him. "No…there is no me and Sean. Just you and me for now. As for there being an us….I am not sure I am ready for a boyfriend, but I am ready for a guy to be my friend. Someone with no judgments and a benefits package. And you will be the only guy with that package."_

_Not the answer Jay wanted, but he would take it. He had no idea she had been sleeping around or would continue to sleep around with Sean._

_End flashback_

Jay had a point and Emma knew it. Even if she did not want to admit it. She always depended on so many other people. Her independence was a ruse. She only appeared to be independent. When in fact she depended on everyone around her to help her, "Not fair…you want to talk about not fair…how about that you're like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute you're this nice and charming guy and the next you're a real….a real butt hole. You can never be serious unless forced. God, I have no idea why I even want you."

"That's who I am and you know it. I never pretended to just be good or a bad guy. I showed you all my sides, but all I get is this….I want to see more…not fake happy Emma façade you have going on. Good, that makes two of us, because I have no idea why you want me either. You have spent so much time reminding me about my past that I am getting tired of it. I wont be your punching bag. Or the guy you run too, to make you feel better." Jay said to her. He would not coddle Emma. She needed to hear all this. "So go get help…..because I won't take anymore of this drama or this crap from you. So get help." Jay stood up.

Emma watched him, "I said I was sorry and you're acting like a jerk. Why can't you just….damn I hate you sometimes."

"It's called the truth. At least I am not afraid to say it. Rehab is what you need and maybe after….maybe….I don't know, but you need to figure out what you want and who you really are. Not this façade you show the world. Because all this façade has caused is trouble." Jay stated to her as he walked away.

TO BE CONTINUED…..


	12. Will that make you happy?

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the current season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

Chapter 12: Will that make you happy?

Emma watched as Jay walked away, "Fine, Rehab it is…will that make you happy." She called to him.

Jay hesitated a moment. If he turned around then things might go back. He might take her and she would never go so he stayed facing the door as he spoke, "If that's your decision and makes you happy. Who cares if I am happy…." Jay walked out the door and away from Emma's house. He needed fresh air.

**ONE MONTH LATER:**

Today was the day. Emma was being released. She had gone to rehab. Checked herself in. The summer was ending and now it was fall. School would start soon, but Emma was taking a semester off. She did not need this stress yet. So, she decided to go back in the winter to Smith dale. Rehab had helped a lot. She discovered something's about herself. Emma was at home unpacking. She had some things to do on her list. First thing was to go see Jay. Let him see a healthy her. Yes, she still wanted Jay and not Sean.

That had been a big source of her problems. The confusion over it all. For most of her life, she always imagined Sean and her getting married and having kids. So, when she realized she wanted Jay instead it sent her mind into a frenzy.

Emma could barely contain her excitement. She still had a key to his place. So, she finished unpacking and made her way to Jay's apartment. She did not even consider knocking before hand. Today she should have considered knocking. Emma used her key and turned the knob, "Look whose back….."

It was too late by the time the door opened. Jay was caught. Although is it really being caught if you were not dating the person? Emma saw a woman on Jays lap. She was half naked and they were kissing. It looked as if they were almost about to, "Sorry I did not mean to interrupt." Emma said.

Jay looked at Emma. He could have sworn she was not coming home for another week, "No its cool. Hold on." Jay said.

"No I should go. Just call me when you're done." Emma said with sadness in her voice.

"Blaze wait." Jay called and lightly pushed the girl off his lap. He raced after Emma. Shirtless and shoe less, "Blaze come on wait. I thought you were coming back this Friday. Or is it Friday already. Damn I need a vacation." He scratched his head.

Emma turned around and forced a smile, "I got out early. I wanted to surprise you, but look like I was the one surprised. I am glad you moved on. She seems…" Like a slut Emma thought. She turned around and started walking away her heart breaking, "Bye."

Jay grabbed her arm and turned her around, "What can't I even explain. You're just going to judge and walk away." Jay sighed, "She is no one. Just some girl I met. Its not like you and I were dating remember. You were in rehab. You know me. I am not a monk." Jay was all about honesty these days. Lies only got you in trouble.

Emma shrugged, "Well I kind of expect you to…I mean I told you…" Emma took a deep breath to calm down, "Your right. You are single. We were not together. Do what you want. I do not care. I just wanted to surprise you. I also wanted to say I am sorry for everything I put you through and for everything I did." Emma said trying to hide her feelings. She was not saying what she wanted to say.

Jay eyed her, "I accept the apology. Em…listen to me. I am glad you're out. I have missed you like crazy this past month, but I told you it was a maybe. And I said that because I don't think this…us…is a good idea. You just got help. Is it really smart to jump into a relationship that started off with problems that led you to rehab." Jay thought a moment. Where had that come from? Damn was he getting smarter or something.

Not what Emma wanted to hear, but what could she do. "Will that make you happy? I missed you too and I know I have some issues to still work through, but…I mean I guess you have a point, but I was just hoping…." Emma sighed. She felt like she really screwed up. "Can we be friends?"

Jay rubbed Emma's arms up and down as she talked, "Em…maybe we can try again, but not right now. It will make me happy if you focus on yourself. I know a thing or two about rehab. Granted I have never been, but I have friends who have. And one of the first things they do is stay single for a while. Besides, I did research while you were in there. Don't look so shocked I can read you know." He smiled.

Emma let out a small laugh, "Looking at pictures does not count as reading."

Jay gave her a fake look of hurt, "That hurts…badly." He joked, "Its just in one of those books or websites it mention that its important for someone to stand on their own first. Being friends would make me happy. Will it make you happy?"

Emma nodded. Her heart was breaking. Friends with Jay. She did not want to be just friends. She loved him. She wanted him. She could feel the fire right now. The tension…the sexual tension was great between them. Yet, Jay had a point. Seriously since when had he changed so much.

"I do not want to be a down but who are you and where is the real Jay Hogart? Jay is never this nice. Never. Where is the jerk? The idiot, the criminal?" Emma asked with a smile.

Jay just glared, "Do not get use to this. This is a one in a life time moment and it will not happen again. I am a jerk and a criminal. That will not change. I am just in a nice mood. You just got out of rehab. I figure being nice once won't kill me. But if you miss it then do me a favor and lay off the vanilla. The smell still won't leave the apartment. Haven't you ever considered switching? I mean please…switch…give the vanilla to someone else."

Emma rolled her eyes and laugh, "Butthead." She said to him. There it was. The jerk she liked.

"What's with the name calling…? Now look get lost your ruining my game." Jay said trying to sound like a mean jerk, but it did not work.

"So as friends can we hang later." Emma asked with a smile.

Jay looked at her, "Whatever. Like I have anything better to do then hang with you. I guess if I get desperate enough why not. Just no nagging and please take a shower." Jay said as he turned to walk away. He secretly did not want her to wash away the vanilla. He loved it.

"Oh you know you enjoy hanging out with me. Who else is going to help you be a better man. Besides annoying you is just one of the many perks." Emma said as she walked away. Her heart was still breaking. She wanted Jay and he wanted friendship and that upset her.

Being friends with Emma would be hard. He dreamt at night about her. His life had been crap with her in rehab. Jay had been pissy, moody, and just plain mean. Jay had fought with customers, been drunk and kisses with woman he could not remember. That's right kissed…..okay so he lied about one thing. For a whole month, Jay had been a monk. He did not go pass first base. He could not sleep with another woman when Emma haounted his dreams. Every damn night she was there and he could not erase her from his mind. God, was he an idiot for just being friends?

He hated to admit it, but he needed Emma. She was the one who changed him. The one he was willing to change for. But being friends, would be hard. Yet, Jay felt it was the right thing to do. He just hoped he did not regret it.

Emma left and went to Sean's place. She was crying. Jay just wanted to be friends and it was her fault. She screwed up to much. But she got help, so why? Emma knocked on Sean's door. He opened it and saw her puffy, red eyes, "Em? What's wrong?"

Emma wrapped her arms around Sean and cried onto his shirt. He wet it with her tears. Soaked it was a better word. She could not stop crying, so Sean just held her. Is this what a friend did? Why was she not with Manny? Sean kept his thoughts to himself.

Sean led Emma inside and to his couch so she could sit down. As soon as she calmed down, he got her some water. "Talk to me Emma? I mean…you're out…when…" Sean could not talk right now.

"I saw him…and he was with someone else. I walked in on them…and then he…he just looked at me and said friend's….he wants to be friends. He gave me some crap excuse that its because he wants me to stand on my own….friends…I mean….I was just expecting…." Emma said with no break and between sobs so it sound more like gibberish to Sean.

Sean tried to listen, but it was hard. He had no idea what she was saying honestly, but he nodded his head and made it look like he did, "Okay can you try one more time. a little slower."

Emma looked at Sean and hit his chest, "Are you not listening. I saw Jay kissing another woman. He moved on while I was gone. I should have known. He can never keep it in his pants. Jay and women….I should have known he could not commit. I was an idiot for thinking I could be that girl. The one who changed him." Emma said more clearly.

Sean sighed, "Em…" Now Sean had a chance to be a real jerk and tell Emma all sorts of lies about Jay. He could say that Jay had slept with many women, but Sean was a bigger person then that and he hated that. He hated being so mature. But the army made you grow up fast. So did living on your own since seventh grade. "Give Jay a chance. He might surprise you."

Emma glared at Sean, "Sure…fine…I guess I can do that, but how can Jay do that. I mean really…. how?"

Sean sighed, "Not to be rude, but I would rather not talk to my ex girl friend about my best friend. It has an icky factor and hurt factor."

Emma nodded, "Sorry. I just needed to talk to someone. Manny is not talking to me. I have no idea why, but…. I am sorry for everything." Emma said with a small smile.

Sean did not smile back, but he did nod his head, "Manny and you will work it out. You always do and thanks. No need for the sorry."

TO BE CONTINUED….


	13. Friends What's That

**Torn Between Two Lovers**

**By: Catwomen88**

***Disclaimer: I do not own degasser in anyway…I am just using the characters to write a fan fiction**

***Authors Note: This is my first degassi fic…so bare with me please. This story does not follow the current season…I mean some of the things from Season eight have happened, but this is my own story…. that I created…I hope you like it…. it's basically for all the Jemma/Semma fans…. basically a fight between Jay and Sean for Emma….**

**Sorry it took me so long to Update…School is annoying…this story is almost over just two more chapters left before Emma makes her choice…. and I am already working on two new stories. A Jalex story and a Semma story…let me know which one you would want me to write first, or if you would want me to write both of them at the same time….**

Chapter 13: Friends what's that?

Two weeks later:

Friends…that is a laugh. Especially for Jay, Sean and Emma. It was a regular love triangle. Emma wants Jay, Sean wants Emma, and Jay is being an idiot. For two weeks, they were trying to be friends. For two weeks Sean was agonizing over the fact that Emma would not shut up about Jay and Jay was agonizing over just trying to be friends.

Jay would still go out, get drunk, flirt, and find a woman to take home. They would make out, but that was it. Nothing further. Every time Jay tired Emma's face flashed before, his eyes and he stopped. How had she gotten in and so soon?

It all started with her helping him home when he was drunk…. now he could not stop thinking about her. Sometimes Jay wondered if he was going crazy. Yet, he was not. Jay had changed. He liked it. He liked the idea of one girl. The girl who could infuriate him with one word and then calm him down with another.

Emma had a plan. A plan to get Jay back. Emma would flirt with Sean in front of him. She was sitting on Sean's couch asking for his help, "Will you help me? Please?"

Friends…what's that…was it really helping your ex get your best friend. Sean cared for Emma, but he could not do that…. this… "Sorry Em…I mean…what your suggesting is cruel. Just talk to him. Tell him the damn truth."

Emma pouted at Sean, "Oh come on. Please."

"No. Em this is a bad idea. I know Jay and this will blow up." Sean warned her.

Emma kept pouting. "Sean. You're my friend. I know this is not ideal for you, but I trust you." Emma knew this was a mean and selfish thing to ask, but she was desperate. She wanted Jay and he had shot her down two weeks ago. She had to try something.

"Just think about it Sean. I have to go." Emma said and got up and walked away.

"Fine…I will do it…" Sean sighed and sat back as she left with a smile on her face. Yes, he could only be the nice guy for so long. Right now, the idea of flirting and kissing her might be just what he needed to get her back.

However, Sean was no idiot. He knew this would blow up in her face. Therefore, Sean would talk to Jay. It was time they discussed Emma. Sean headed over to Jay's place and knocked.

Jay heard the knock and answered the door. He moved so Sean would come in. "Beer?"

"Please. We need to talk." Sean said sitting in the reclining chair, Jay had.

Jay laughed and handed Sean the beer, "Man you sound like some damn chick."

Sean laughed as he took the beer, "Dude not my fault. I have been hanging around chicks too long. I need a break. I miss you man. I know we have let this Emma business get in our way but…."

Jay nodded, "Its cool. Look what ever happens you're my best friend. Nothing will change that."

Sean eyed him and snorted. "Look Emma will kill me for telling you this but she wants to use me to make you jealous."

"Use you…. to make me…well that would work. Wait…. why are you telling me this?" Jay wondered.

Sean nodded, "Because it's a stupid plan and I got pissed she asked me to do it. I agreed of course, but still. Look dude…I want her. And I thought we should talk this out." Sean was always trying to be the bigger person. The war taught him a lot.

Jay sipped his beer. He stayed silent for a few minutes, "So what…you want to fight for her? She wants me…she said so…not you…."

Sean put his beer down, "But I am sick of sitting back and letting that happen. Look, I don't want out friendship ruined, but I love her. I thought I could handle her wanting you, but I can't. I am sorry but I will fight for her."

"I guess I did not expect you to go down with out a fight. I thought it was weird you even seemed okay, but look dude. I do not care what you do…. I won't give up." Jay told him.

Sean stood up, "Then may the best man win." He extended his hand.

Jay watched Sean and his hand. He took it, shook it, and nodded. Now normally back in high school they would have come to blows, but not now. They were different. Emma helped Jay realize he did not want to be that guy anymore. He wanted to be different.

In addition, the army changed Sean. Made him realize you could not have a hot head or react with fists right away. With that said Sean left Jay's place. HE thought fair warning was needed. After all, he had not gotten that luxury. He found out about Jay and Emma by surprise. He would not do that.

Emma was walking to the Dot. She was hungry and had plans with her family later. She saw Manny and smiled. "Manny. Hey long time no talk." Emma said sitting next to Manny at the bar.

Manny looked at Emma and then looked away, "Hey." She said softly.

Emma looked upset, "What's going on? What did I do? I am sick of this."

Manny turned to Emma and looked her right in the eye, "Your selfish, and an idiot. Did you even think how all this would make me feel? You and Jay…. I expected you to find some sort of common ground…not sleep with him…. I mean…Emma… he and I were engaged."

Emma was shocked. This came out of no where, "Manny…I…I am sorry…its just…I mean…. look I am sorry. I love him…please…I do…."

Manny shook her head, "I loved him too. I mean when you first told me I did not think this would happen. Emma we have not even been broken up for a year. Did you not consider that maybe I might still love him…"

Emma looked at Manny and not sure what to say, "Manny…why didn't you tell me. You should have told me." Emma felt her heartstrings pull because she loved Jay.

Manny turned back around, "You never asked. You just went on a tangent about how you and how you felt ad for convincing me to take Jay back. You never even asked about me…or how I was doing. Then you go and play games with two men….Emma what is wrong with you."

"Okay I deserve that, but I said sorry. I was sick…I was anorexic again when I did that. I am done with games….okay maybe I have one more game…making Jay jealous with Sean, but Manny….you…we are friends…." Emma said upset.

"Friends….what's that…I mean really. Look we are friends…best friends…which is why I am telling you this…don't do it….don't play games….I love Jay and I wont let you hurt him. Sure, he hurt me by cheating, but I knew that Jay might cheat when I got back together with him. I knew he would hurt me. So don't….games are dangerous. Jay cheated because I played games. " Manny sighed, "Look the week before Jay cheated I did what your about to do. I wanted to make him jealous. Jay got pissed…left…and well you know the rest….so don't….do this. Especially not to Sean…. now that boy loves you…so don't."

Manny paid her tab, left a tip, and walked away. She was Emma's friend, but Emma was playing a dangerous game. She could tell Emma was healthy again. Which was good, but games were never good.

Emma had a lot to think about. She needed to see Jay and talk to him. Therefore, she ordered her food to go and left for Jay's apartment. Manny still loved him. Despite the cheating. Did Jay still love her? Emma knocked on Jay's door.

"Blaze to what do I owe the pleasure. First Sean and now you." Jay left the door open but turned around and walked away.

Emma walked in and closed the door behind her. Manny's words about playing games were making sense. Okay so Emma would not play games, but she needed to tell Jay about Manny, but could she, "Hey….how's it going?'

"How's it going….how does it look…its not going good…." Jay said bitterly.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest, "Do not snap at me. I did not do this."

"I know that. I never said you did. Look Blaze what do you want.; I am too busy for you." Jay was reverting to his jerk of a self. It was so easy.

Emma stayed put, "Be mean all you want it never works on me and you know it. I just want to talk."

Jay snorted, "Then talk. Asking permission has never stopped you." Jay said sipping a beer.

"Will you stop it. " Emma demanded.

"No. I like being mean. It makes sure little nice girls like you know how bad a guy like me….really is." Jay told her.

Emma eyed him, "You're not bad. Stop saying that."

Jay smiled a fake smile, "Oh I am bad. Stop trying to make me not seem bad." Jay could not help it. It was self-sabotage in a way. He just……he was a jerk and especially to Emma…sometimes….only sometimes…and what Sean said…got to Jay so now he was in a jerk mood.

"If you were so bad then Manny would not still love you…" Emma slapped a hand over her mouth. Why had she said that….damn she had meant to tell him but not like that. Emma did not want to tell him. She wanted to keep it a secret, but there it was. It just came out. "Yes I said it. She still loves you. And I did not want to tell you but I am…so now…the ball is in your court…" Emma said with tears. The idea of Jay and Manny hurt her. She turned around and ran out of Jay's place crying.

Jay looked at Emma. Disbelief in his eyes as she ran out crying. HE sank to the floor. What the heck…..damn….

TO BE CONTINUED…


End file.
